Eli's Joining the Military...Put Your Two Cents In!
by Eli Browning
I was blessed with a large volume of friends and family and I meet lovely new folks all the time. And anyone who knows me knows I hate saying the same shit over and over. I'm all about efficiency. So here is an FAQ list addressing many of the common reactions I've gotten in response to my decision to join the military. I'm also gonna make a blog but I don't really know how to do that so it'll be a minute. In the meantime, read this so you know what's going on with me. If you have anything to add or any more questions, please feel free to post them below or message me. My life is in overdrive now, but I have a smartphone so I can make updates in little pockets of free time here and there.
1. What are you doing?
Sitting on the couch typing and drinking tea. Oh with the military? I am in the process of enlisting in the Army Reserve as a 68W healthcare specialist (combat medic). My long term goal is to become a physician. My immediate goal is to serve a term of military service while simultaneously attending undergraduate college and to finish both at about the same time (four years from now). I want to major in Emergency Administration and Planning at the University of North Texas and I have not decided on a medical school yet. Serving as a 68W will not only provide a financial safety net while I work my way through undergrad, it will give me valuable life experience that will help my med school applications and ultimately make me a better doctor.
2. When did you decide this?
I decided to become a doctor on November 10th, 2010. I began thinking about the military in April of 2011, and I made the official decision four months ago in October. I changed my mind several times but it's made up now.
3. Why can't you get student loans?
Because I went to beauty school for like one minute when I was younger and I never paid back my federal loan. When I realized I wanted to become a doctor and started trying to get my shit together, it was too complicated at that point and my loan went into wage garnishment. Wage garnishment is one year long and there is nothing you can do to stop it- only wait. After it's up, I have 6 months to rehabilitate my loan with on time payments and then I'll be eligible for new loans. Trouble is we're looking at 18 months of my life that I have to work full time but somehow go to school full time simultaneously in order to pay for and accomplish my goal in a reasonable timeframe. And that's IF I have no medical emergencies or unforeseen expenses of any kind. It's pretty damn impossible.
Enlisting pays for most of my college, all my health insurance, and puts some cash in my pocket each month for my weekend drills. It is the perfect safety net to carry me from point waitress to point first year of medical school.
4. So that covers the financial reasons, why else would you do this to yourself?
The same reason I do anything Batman…because I want to! I think it'll be badass, life changing, fun and challenging. And if it's none of those things and it just sucks…well I can't imagine anything sucking more than waiting tables for the next four years. Life is too short to be a lameass and try to stay safe all the time.
5. I was in the military and they totally screwed me.
I'm sorry that happened to you dude. If you want to share what happened, I will use your misfortune as a guide to hone my self-protecting skills. And I'll try to make you feel better and have hope for the future.
6. Why Army?
Ships and airplanes aren't really my cup of tea, and I wouldn't be a Marine because they don't have their own medical personnel and a medical job is paramount to me. I am currently engaged in the enlistment process with the Army Reserve, but there is a chance I could get disqualified still. If this happens, I will join the Texas Army National Guard. If I get disqualified there as well, I will look into other branches. If you served I would love to hear about your experience with any branch, especially if you did a medical job. But please only CONCRETE information and advice (like your recruiter's phone number or a web address). I don't have time to go on wild goose chases after rumors of magical loan repayment programs, etc.
7. But the recruiters will lie to you!
To my knowledge, there is no way to join the military without going through a recruiter. It is a common idea that recruiters tell outrageous lies in order to make bonuses or meet their enlistment minimums and I get warned about it like once a day. To that I have this to say: this is not my first rodeo. After waiting on thousands upon thousands of tables in my life, having many failed and successful social interactions, and encountering a minimum of one bum begging for money every day for the last 10 years, I can say I have a reasonable grasp of when someone is trying to pull one over on me. And even if I didn't have a hard-earned intuition, I still have the common sense to know that if I need a promise from an institution that employs thousands of people, I'm going to need it in writing.
When I finally worked up the balls to go sit down and make my ideas reality, I found that recruiters in general are much more harmless than even I could have imagined. It's not like the Army is going to put the superhumanly intelligent sociopathic manipulators into recruiting positions…no way, those guys are having tea with diplomats in secret underground chambers. In addition to being warm, hardworking, social people, recruiters are also typically used to dealing with suburban 17 and 18 year olds. Nothing wrong with that, it's just that the tactics they use to persuade the youth of America are generally elementary when applied to a woman pushing 30 from a big city. I made it VERY clear to my recruiter on day one that if the Army can't give me what I need, I don't need the Army. He understood, complied and respects me all the more.
8. It would be better if you commissioned.
I agree, but to commission you must be under 30 years of age and have a four year college degree. I am 27 and have about four years left to go on my degree. Plus, the whole point of enlisting is to get help with college. If I really really like the military, I may commission after I graduate and go to the Uniformed Services University medical school.
9. But you're going to die!
Yes. One day I am definitely going to die.
10. Aren't you scared?
I'm scared of waiting tables. I'm scared of being someone I'm not. I'm scared of wasting the gifts I was given. I am scared of a meaningless life.
11. What about WWIII/New World Order/the Federal Reserve deliberately bankrupting the country/how much the president sucks?
The thing about theories is that…well, they're theories. Am I sitting here saying there's no such thing as New World Order? No. I'm sitting here saying I don't care. I've always been about action. I get frustrated with groups of people sitting around talking. I understand a certain amount of planning and philosophy is required for every decision anybody makes. But I get this shit figured out when I'm acting. I think while I'm building, I learn while I'm fixing, I love while I'm helping. This is not always a good thing, but it's who I am and I need to work with it. While you're waxing conspiracies, people all over the world need help. Real, physical, tangible help. This is something real that I can do, something I can put my hands on. My therapist said something that's always really stuck with me. She told me once:
"Sometimes we are gripped with a conviction that makes everything simple, but most of the time we are all just caught in the tension of doing the best we can."
The tension of doing the best we can. This means that basically, a zealot never has much trouble making decisions. If you have a black and white, set in stone belief system then you're never going to have to deal with dilemmas, compromises, or uncertainty. But reasonable people seldom have black and white beliefs because the world is not black and white. I could never say with assurance that there are no secret societies and the government is not trying to destroy us. I can't say that because how the hell do I know what people are thinking who I've never met before? I don't even know what the people I DO know are thinking. But I can say for sure that I don't want to live my life that way. I want to trust the world and I want to have faith in people. I can manage this now even knowing what I know about people and having seen the horrible things I've seen. I don't need to add any imaginary negativity to the reality that I'm handling very well.
This is about me using an institution to reach a goal in my life. If you think I'm committing a terrible, immoral act by doing this…well that's kind of your problem. I don't take kindly to being told what to believe. I'm an American.
12. You don't seem patriotic.
Loving the United States of America does not mean loving President Obama. It does not mean loving Kim Kardashian or loving Native American genocide or loving imports from China. The United States of America was here before Barack Obama was a twinkle in his daddy's eye. When you love a person, you accept them. You choose to live with their flaws because you believe that ultimately, their strengths make it worth it. You also offer yourself as a source of support, wisdom and help if they want to change for the better. Think of this analogy as the way I feel about being an American. I will never expatriate because the U.S. isn't perfect. I will defend this country if I need to just like you would defend your flawed and imperfect loved one if they were attacked.
13. What about killing people?
When I was younger I was a self-proclaimed hippie. I adored the counterculture of the 1960s and I believed the way to change the world was to end all killing ever no matter what. Then I grew up. I was followed home, threatened on the bus, harassed in parking lots, and worse was witness to other people being attacked and had to choose what my reaction would be. I also grew close to combat veterans who were dealing with their pasts, and people who currently work in dangerous or violent jobs. Somewhere down the line I learned that there will always be evil people. My dear friend posed a hypothetical question on the subject of intentional killing: if you could go back in time, how many Nazis would you kill to get to Hitler? My answer at 17 years old would have been "None, then I would be no better than them". My answer now is "However many it takes. It doesn't matter if I am better…what matters is stopping evil."
As I mentioned above, life is not black and white. Unless you live under a rock, you are faced with moral dilemmas all the time and we are all just caught in the tension of doing the best we can. I can promise you that I will continue to live the least destructive life I know how, and that all future decisions I have to make will be made with a strong heart and the best intentions I can muster.
You're just going to have to trust me.
14. But I always thought you were a free spirited bohemian hippie artist?
No. That's a stereotype. I am a human being. I was blessed with an inherent ability to not give a shit what other people think. That may be what you perceived as "creativity". In reality, my spirit may be free from the chains of social constraint, but it is also a hardworking spirit that is tightly bound to a higher moral calling. I was born to become a doctor and change the world, and all the time I spent listening to people who told me I would never be more than a ditzy, eccentric guitar playing pixie is time I spent wasted.
15. Are you going to stop playing music?
What the **** do you think? :)
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